Bitter Sorrow

Today is Good Friday. It is called Good Friday by those who are looking back in history to the events that lead up to Christ’s death on the cross and his resurrection. In the light of His resurrection, the day of his death is seen as good because it is the event that set us free from the bondage of sin and lead to his victory over death that we now can have. But to his disciples and followers that were going through that day, it was not thought of as good. It was a terrible and frightening day. They experienced bitter sorrow. The very thing that they held so precious slipped from their hands and was taken away. The Apostle Peter denied knowing the Lord because of fear and after his denial he went out and wept bitterly (Matt 26:75). Judas, who had betrayed Christ to the Jewish leaders was remorseful and he lost hope and went out and hanged himself. It was a very dark time. I began to think about bitter sorrow and how it affects us and what God feels about it. I did a word study on the Greek word for bitter that is used to describe Peter’s weeping. It is a violent and piercing feeling causing great pain.I have known myself the feeling and seen people who are grieving experience physical pain from their sorrow. It is the sorrow of feeling helpless and unable to change the events that are unfolding in our lives that is bringing us so much pain. I then began to think about how God feels about bitter sorrow and my mind drifted to the story of Lazarus being raised from the dead. The shortest verse in the Bible describes Jesus’ response to Mary and Martha’s pain over Lazarus’ death. It says, He wept! Jesus had great compassion for these people who were grieving over the loss of their brother. Lazarus was a believer and both Martha and Mary knew his spirit was with the Lord and his physical body would be raised in the second coming but they were so sad to be separated from him in this life. Jesus knew he was going to raise him from the dead, but he still felt compassion for their emotion of sorrow and loss. Mary and Martha went through bitter sorrow for a greater purpose. Lazerus’ death brought his resurrection by Jesus, causing many to believe he was the Messiah and also it set into motion the plan and resolve by the Jewish leaders to do away with Jesus and kill him. The very event that would set us free from the grip of sin and bring his resurrection that gives us eternal life in heaven where there is no more bitter sorrow. In this life sorrow has it’s role to play. It shapes us, changes us. We are no longer the same after we have gone through it. The thing that has really impacted me in my meditation of sorrow is how it will change us. I have known some who have allowed the bitterness to stay in their hearts and it is a hardening agent that can only be escaped through drinking or drugs or other life dominating sins. It stays and brings anger against God or other people. I have also known people that have been gripped by fear and the rest of their lives they fear of bad things happening to them. To some it brings so much hopelessness that they lose their minds or commit suicide. This thing or things that have happened to them seem like too much to bear and they cannot overcome it. I realized the key is we as humans cannot over come bitter sorrow. Only the Lord and his great love and response to his love by loving him back can bring healing. I have experienced bitter sorrow a couple of times in my life. The death of my mother was one. She was a dear friend, but she also was a good mother who always believed in me and cared for me. She understood me and we thought a lot a like. Her death left a huge gaping whole in my life. I knew she was with the Lord and that I would see her in heaven but I missed her now in this life and there was no replacing that. Because of her death I moved to Southern California and eventually brought me to meet my wonderful and loving husband. He is the closest person to me on this earth and my heart is comforted but I went through years of trusting the Lord, loving the Lord and not letting bitterness take root in my heart. The second time bitter sorrow came into my heart was when I miscarried our first child at the age of 44. It hit me so hard because of my age and because I waited for the Lord and trusted in him and this precious gift was taken from me, the thing I had longed for for many years was gone, seemingly so senselessly. The words rung out in my mind, “Why, Why, Why?” I took this pain and used it as a catalyst to draw closer to the Lord. I asked him to help me not to be hopeless and be open to what He had for me. I did have another child and as those that know me know that she is very precious to me and has taught me many lessons of faith. I know she belongs to the Lord first and that God loves her and the baby we lost more than we ever could. The thing is that faith grows in bitter sorrow, if we will let it. Faith that God loves us, that he cares about us, even when we can’t see it. I will close with this scripture where Jesus is talking to Thomas after his resurrection: “Jesus *said to him, “Because you have seen Me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed.” John 20:29